Intimate Relationships are like lightning rod that absorbs anxiety and intensity, and where our unconscious thoughts and emotions get expressed.  Our most intimate partners absorb the subtle implicit fear, aggressions, grief, and joy.  The impact of these unconscious patterns influences the structure of relationships.  Daniel J. Siegel MD a neuroscientist says of the multiple diagnosis available in the DSM-V all disordered thinking can be segmented into disorganized or rigid thoughts and behavior, and these form patterns in our behavior that influence relationships.  If in our childhood our relationships were unpredictable we may over compensate through rigid expression.  If we experienced an overly rigid home environment we may struggle with disorganized thinking due to the struggle to meet the demands of a rigid environment.  These patterns from childhood are often influencing our current relationships. 

In relationship based therapies we start with improving the framework for communication, then explore how our past patterns are influencing current patterns, and then we design a strategy to transform our path.